Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Bionicle The Legend Reborn (2009)

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Bionicle: The Legend Reborn is the fourth DVD in the Bionicle series – and rumor has it there is going to be a fifth soon, too. We loved this movie
except for the ending – it was pretty obvious you’re going to have to watch the fifth (and possibly sixth) film to get the whole story.

This movie picks up where the fourth Bionicle DVD left off. The Makuta has won and Mata Nui has been stripped of his position and power and finds himself trapped on the planet Bara Magna. Now he’s forced to unite enemy villages to face off against two terrifying and deadly forces: the evil Skrall and Bone Hunters. But with little time left before the enemy armies destroy everything on the planet – and a traitor lurking in the shadows, just to add an extra bit of suspense to the mix – will Mata Nui be able to to save Bara Magna and discover the truth – both about the planet and about himself?

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Sunday, December 20, 2009

Worlds Greatest Dad (2009)

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A thoughtful but outrageous comedy from Bobcat Goldthwait, WORLD’S GREATEST DAD is a story about a man that learns the things you want most may not be the things that make you happy, and that being... A thoughtful but outrageous comedy from Bobcat Goldthwait, WORLD’S GREATEST DAD is a story about a man that learns the things you want most may not be the things that make you happy, and that being lonely is not necessarily the same as being alone.

Robin Williams stars as Lance Clayton, a man who has learned to settle. He dreamed of being a rich and famous writer, but has only managed to make it as a high school poetry teacher. His only son Kyle (Daryl Sabara) is an insufferable jackass who won’t give his father the time of day. He is dating Claire (Alexie Gilmore), the school’s adorable art teacher, but she doesn’t want to get serious -- or even acknowledge publicly that they are dating.

Then, in the wake of a freak accident, Lance suffers the worst tragedy and greatest opportunity of his life. He is suddenly faced with the possibility of all the fame, fortune and popularity he ever dreamed of, if he can only live with the knowledge of how he got there

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Aladin (2009)

 Aladin *2009* [Pre-DVDRip.XviD-xRG][Hindi]

Aladin *2009* | 701 MB

The story is set in a fictitious town called Khwaish. Aladin (Ritesh) is a shy college going bloke who is forever bullied by his college mates lead by big bully Kasim (Sahil Khan). They always force him to rub lamps to get a Genie out of it only because his name is Aladin. He instantly falls in love at first sight when he sees Jasmine (Jacqueline) the new girl in his college.
But then again Kasim always succeeds in keeping him away from her. But one fine day he luckily chances upon a lamp that actually brings out a genie called Genius (Amitabh). Genius offers him three wishes so that after they are fulfilled he can retire. At first Aladin doesn’t believe that Genius is actually a genie but after he is convinced the first two wishes he wastes on getting Jasmine. Meanwhile Ringmaster (Sanjay Dutt) is hot on trail of the magic lamp is an ex-genie who wants to kill Aladin and get hold of the magic lamp so that he can be come the genie and use the powers to further his own evil interests. In his team are a fire-spitting lady, a clown, a knife thrower and other circus renegades. On interacting with Ringmaster, Aladin learns of a sec ret Genius had not revealed to him and he is heartbroken. Anyway, to become a genie once again, Ringmaster has to catch a comet that comes once in a million years. The comet can only be caught with the help of a magic lamp. What happens when Ring master confronts Genius and Aladin and who wins the battle for supre macy is revealed in the climax.
Its commendable that Sujoy has picked up the much heard famous fairy tale and attempted to give it a modern day twist with some amazing never seen before special effects. However, he along with his co-writers have failed to make Aladin a fun filled entertainer. Even if we take into consideration that the film is only aimed at the kids, then too its a challenge for the kids to enjoy it as most of the proceedings are wasted in Aladin wooing Jasmine. The emotional quotient of the romantic story is zero. The script is completely dry and drab. It wouldn’t be wrong to say that just one dialogue stands out because it unwittingly expresses the feelings of the audience watching this film in the cinemas. The dialogue, mouthed by Genius, goes somewhat like this: “Abbe, yaar, bore mat karo!” Indeed, that’s the dialogue the viewer keeps muttering to himself while watching the film.
Amitabh brings Genius to life with his excellent act even though it appears over the top at times. Ritesh is perfectly fit for his role and does an endearing act. Sanjay Dutt though saddled with a half baked role is in great form. You can make out he is having a ball playing the fantasy villain. Newcomer Jacqueline has superb screen presence and not only is she very attractive but is very expressive too. Sahil Khan is well casted and his scenes with Ritesh are hilarious.
Vishal-Shekhar’s tunes offer nothing new but gel with the film. Editing could have been better but camerawork by Sirsha Ray and set design by Sabu Cyril is top notch. Even the sound design is of international standards.

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Monday, December 14, 2009

Stomp the yard (2007)

Stomp the yard (2007) DVDRIP

Synopsis: When DJ (Columbus Short), a troubled youth from Los Angeles, moves to Atlanta to attend Truth University, he discovers "stepping," the age-old style of dance traditionally done in African-American... When DJ (Columbus Short), a troubled youth from Los Angeles, moves to Atlanta to attend Truth University, he discovers "stepping," the age-old style of dance traditionally done in African-American Fraternities, where teams demonstrate complex moves and create rhythmic sounds by using their bodies. DJ's raw talent and hip-hop inspired moves quickly place him at the center of a fierce rivalry between two fraternities, the winner of which will be determined in front of a sold-out arena at the annual stepping championships. But before he can help his teammates, he must battle his own demons and learn the true meaning of brotherhood. A compelling drama about the quest for individuality and the power of fraternity, Stomp the Yard features some of the most original and exhilarating dance performances ever filmed. Starring Columbus Short (Save the Last Dance 2, Accepted) and Meagan Good (Waist Deep, Roll Bounce), Stomp the Yard is directed by award-winning music video and commercial director Sylvain White (I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer), who brings his innovative visual style and explosive energy to the production. When an urban dance battle ends in violence, champion street dancer DJ Williams (Columbus Short) travels from the underground clubs of inner city Los Angeles to the moneyed precincts of Atlanta's prestigious, historically black Truth University. Although his athleticism and ambition have made him a top competitor in the gritty world of street dancing, DJ feels out of place at Truth, with its elite fraternities and expectations of professional success. It is in this alien environment that DJ discovers the world of stepping. An African-American tradition that has evolved from the centuries-old African Boot Dance, it combines precise dance steps with chants and percussive hand and foot movements. At Truth, it also plays a pivotal role in the longstanding rivalry between two campus fraternities. When DJ shows off his dance skills at a local club, he attracts the attention of Truth's top fraternities and campus beauty April (Meagan Good), setting off a vicious feud with April's boyfriend Grant (Darrin Henson) - who also happens to be a star stepper for Mu Gamma Xi. After DJ decides to join rival Theta Nu Theta, his bold street style revitalizes the decades long competition between the frats and challenges the stepping supremacy of Mu Gamma. But his arrogance and self-centeredness quickly put DJ at odds with his new fraternity brothers. With Grant plotting to have him expelled just before the most important competition of the year, DJ must put aside his pride and learn the true meaning of fraternity. In a breathtaking finale, the two teams square off in an epic, freestyle battle that propels stepping to a thrilling new level. --copy; Screen Gems

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2022.Tsunami(2009)

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Review: 2022 Tsunami

  • Written, directed and executive produced by Toranong Srichua
  • Starring Pisan Srimankong, Sirinda Jensen, Panudej Wattanasuchat, Suchao Pongwilai
  • Released in Thai cinemas on May 28, 2009
  • Rating: 2/5

A wave of twisted moralism washes over the audience in 2022 Tsunami (2022 สึนามิ วันโลกสังหาร), an overly dramatic, disaster-epic version of Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth, or a low-rent version of director Roland Emmerich's The Day After Tomorrow (or his upcoming 2012).
Bluntly and artlessly, Toranong Srichua uses his film as a cudgel to beat the topic of climate change senseless. An old-time social-realism moviemaker, he wants to show audiences the reality, but it is difficult to take his message seriously.
Never mind that 2022 Tsunami is only fitfully entertaining -- mostly unintentionally so because of the melodramatic acting and cartoonish CGI. All the moralizing and preaching about nice cars, fancy shopping malls and skytrain transport systems rings hollow when it's those very things that Toranong depends on in order for people to see his movie.
And, as he's so fond of pointing out numerous times in the film, none of it is going to matter anyway when the big wave hits, because everything will be gone.
So what's the point of anything? Especially of seeing this movie? Or writing this review? But I shall press on.
Thailand of 2022 looks remarkably like Bangkok of 2009. Same cars, pretty much the same skyscrapers, same skytrain and the same messed-up politics. About the only thing different is a giant Buddha statue, standing like the Statue of Liberty, in the Bight of Bangkok. The Buddha is holding a hand out in front, as if to say "Stop! You shall not pass." The Buddha figure later becomes a "Thai guardian angel" in the closing action scenes.
Leading Thailand's government is a prime minister (Panudej Wattanasuchat) who's on-message about climate change, its detrimental effects on the environment and its cause -- us. The movie opens with him addressing some kind of UN function, saying more needs to be done, and quickly, or else it's going to be too late.
As if to underline his point, a small earthquake rattles Bangkok, spooking everyone.

The PM is also on shaky political ground for heeding the warnings of a scientist, who says climate change is causing a rapid shift in tectonic plates and that earthquakes and volcanoes are going to cause a tsunami so huge it'll make the 2004 Indian Ocean earthquake look like child's play. The PM's stance puts a damper on the development and tourism projects that a powerful partner in his coalition government wants to see through.
But the premier sees a bigger picture than just Thailand.
"What makes us special? If the world does end, we'll all be on the same planet," the PM tells an aide who tries to explain that Bangkok doesn't sit on any fault lines, and isn't threatened by any volcanoes. "Don't try to find exceptions."
The scientist, the Cousteau-like Dr. Siam (Suchao Pongwilai), is investigating reports of an underwater volcano that's sprung up off the coast.
"It's like a giant cannon in the Gulf of Thailand, pointed at Bangkok," says dolphin trainer Sindee (Sirinda Jensen), one of the pretty young things Dr. Siam has working for him. Her big scene is when she talks to her pink dolphin Mai Tai, telling it to head for deep water. The dolphin proves its superior intelligence by swimming away and is never seen again.
The buildup to the disaster is agonizingly slow and methodical, with Dr. Siam and his team, which also includes a young man named Phuket (Pisan Srimankong) and his pet chimpanzee, investigating volcanoes, earthquakes and other disturbances. Time after time, they are certain "the big one" is going to hit, and they warn the PM, who issues orders to evacuate. But they are false alarms.
"You're hurting tourism!" hollers the coalition partner, after he bursts into the PM's office.
Meanwhile, a subplot involves the nasty coalition government politician's son who wants to build a casino resort on the coast. His plans are opposed by the sea-gypsy fishermen.
Among the scientist crew, all the characters lost loved ones in the 2004 tsunami. The young man Phuket is particularly haunted by his memories, as is Dr. Siam. They dedicated their life to make sure Thailand would get an adequate warning about the next big tsunami, and that those warnings would be heeded.

Suchao's character, the nationalistically named Dr. Siam, seems to be patterned after real-life disaster expert Smith Thammasaroj, who's been accused of scaremongering with his dire predictions of earthquakes -- including a warning of the 2004 tsunami that government officials did not heed because no one wanted to take responsibility if the tsunami was not as severe as it turned out to be. And Smith is acknowledged in the credits.
But it's hard to take the movie seriously when the characters are so woodenly and melodramatically portrayed, especially the corrupt politician who harbors a secret and his son the hedonist, who swims with bikini-clad babes, takes drugs and kills sea gypsy fishermen. Toranong's perverted, heavy-handed morality is summed up in those characters.
The heroes fare a bit better, only because they are good. The sure and steady hand of veteran actor Suchao keeps Dr. Siam above the waves of obvious melodrama, but the poor man is saddled with a fake beard that's so crazy, he's dragged down and drowned with the rest of the cast.
Panudej does fairly well as the embattled prime minister, if only because he's eventually given something to do other than helplessly scream and run around -- the PM straps on a helmet and jumpsuit and leaps out of helicopter to save a busload of schoolchildren. Perhaps he's the kind of PM Thailand needs -- an action figure who turns commando when the going gets tough.
But the special effects are problematic. The CGI is meant to show Bangkokians just how vulnerable their coastal metropolis is -- how the tsunami will erase the city, the 16-story-high waves cleaning out condos, ripping the skytrain from its tracks, crumpling luxurious cars, destroying roads and snapping elegant suspension bridges like toothpicks. It's all accompanied by the deafening sounds of screaming and of a wall of water. I respect the time and thought that went into creating those CGI animations, but as the front-and-center effect for many scenes, they don't hold up to scrutiny, or mesh convincingly with the live action. Audiences know they are fake. Why not just build a Lego version of Bangkok, put it in a bathtub and turn on the tap?

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Sex Pot (2009)

Sex Pot (2009) DVDRip

The basic formula for a teen sex comedy (or its stoner variant) is simple. I’ve outlined it before in other reviews, but here’s the basic rundown. All you need to do is take a fresh batch of awkward up-and-coming young comedians, mix in a tiny bit of social commentary relating to teen life, spin a few crass jokes as well as a decent, memorable comedy set piece (i.e. having sex with a pie) and voila, you’ve got a great teen sex comedy.

And for the most part, "Sex Pot" follows that formula rather well. The problem here isn’t the setup -- the idea is clever. And it isn’t a rating issue either. This is one film that knows exactly what it is -- even the simplistic "to the point" title "Sex Pot" seems to be acknowledging that. Rather, like many Asylum films, this is a picture dampened by a weak script, bad production design and wobbly performances.

The two teen stars, who encounter an aphrodisiac weed and attempt to use it to get laid, are decently likeable, though neither actor is really all that funny (which is a big flaw). There’s plenty of weed smoking, gratuitous nudity, bawdy sex gags and crass humor. But the film is still far from good even though it’s fully aware of what works in a teen sex comedy.

"Sex Pot" feels like it’s been shot in one day -- rushed to completion. Camera setups are cheap. Set design is uninspired. Little flaws sneak through in every scene, often ruining a moment. For example, our motley crew is pulled over by a cop midway through the film. They’re high, they’ve got prostitutes in the car and they’re nervous. Only problem: there’s no police car behind them, despite several references to the point. A tiny little flaw like this neuters a gag since it takes you out of the films’ reality. Not the mention the fact the scene has no real point other than they lose the weed for a short while, which could have been handled in another fashion -- something quicker and funnier.

Other times gags miss their mark because image the performers are either too eager or unsure of the gag itself to make it funny. One such subplot finds a character with a severe erection for most of the film, but the performer can’t seem to find the right way to play the gag. Since the production is rushed, he never manages to find his groove. Had the erection caused him to walk around like Frankenstein’s monster, or something along those lines, it would have been amusing, ripe for repeat gags. Instead, he limps in one scene, tweaks in another, whines in pain in the next, scratches himself and so on. It’s disjointed and ultimately unfunny.

But the script doesn’t really seem to be interested in providing laughs. It’s a paper-thin story with little character development and even less logic. The two weak leads are left with the difficult task of improvising their way to a joke -- a task they more often fail than succeed at doing. While the two leads do a decent job in the beginning, when it’s just them getting high and trying to see their attractive next door neighbor’s nude, once the film evolves into a road trip, the jokes fall off.

Pacing, often an issue with Asylum films, is simply wretched here. Gags and beats are cut off too early, or hold a second or two longer than they should. The film is also a good ten or fifteen minutes too long. Why this film isn’t a cool 81 minutes is beyond me.

Direction isn’t much better. Instead of grabbing multiple takes (and outtakes), it feels more like director Eric Forsberg ("Alien Abduction") simply did one or two takes and went with the best one -- and we’re left to enjoy the mine field of bad performances clocked by equally bad timing.

There is no denying it -- "Sex Pot" is a terrible, awful, nearly unwatchable movie. That said, I found myself oddly enjoying it far more than something more "professional" like "Miss March" or "Fired Up." This is a film that knows exactly what it is -- a bad teen sex stoner comedy. It’s gloriously exploitative, riddled with copious amounts of female flesh, harkening back to the glamorous, but gritty mid-70s when softcore was mainstream.

If only Asylum would have spent just a little more time amping up the production design, tweaking the narrative, fixing the performances (allowing a real comedian to helm and/or headline the film would have really helped) and setting up the gags, this would have been a fine DTV title.

But at least "Sex Pot" isn’t just another lame DTV title that feels oddly neutered (like "Without a Paddle: Nature’s Calling" or "Road Trip: Beer Pong") or distracted by unlikable heroes. "Sex Pot" is more like a raunchy redneck relative -- oddly likable and completely unafraid to be crass and rude, but not very smart, either.

Film Report Card:

Entertainment Value: C+

Film Value: D

Final Grade:

C-

DVD REVIEW:

Video:

"Sex Pot" is presented in 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen. Don’t expect a reference transfer because you’re not going to get one, but this disc is about on par with most Asylum releases. The encode is a little hazy, with mild posterization, jagged edges and faint macroblocking flushing the transfer. The print is oversaturated with orange fleshtones and a dominating yellow palette. At least details and depth are fairly sharp. Overall, this one’s hardly a knockout, but it gets the point across just fine.

Annoyingly, DVDFuture was not sent the special edition 3-D version of the film and we are unable to comment on the quality of the 3-D. That said, the film didn’t really feel like it was shot in 3-D at all, so imagine it’s somewhat of a letdown, but perhaps there are 3-D specific bonuses in the 3-D version. Who knows?

Audio:

Audio choices are English Dolby Digital 5.1 and 2.0 stereo. No subtitle options are provided. This is a pretty drab surround experience, mostly land-locked to the occasionally crackly center channel, making the mix feel more like a glorified stereo track. Surrounds aren’t particularly organic, neither is music. Bass is almost never put to use. The mix works, to be sure, but not to the best of the film’s ability.

Extras and Packaging:

This single-disc non-3-D version comes packed in a black amaray case with somewhat overbearing, gratuitous artwork (Yes, we know, the film is about sex, and pot -- got it). Like most Asylum releases, there’s little by way of bonus features, but the additions here are surprisingly amusing.

• Featurette: "Bongs of Darkness: A Filmmaker’s aPOTcalypse" (9 minutes, 480p SD) -- This is actually a fairly decent featurette that, at first, amusingly mocks the classic documentary "Hearts of Darkness," which detailed Francis Ford Coppola’s decent into madness while shooting "Apocalypse Now." After the quick gag, we spend the rest of the featurette discussing the 3-D technique (which can’t be seen on this disc). The director occasionally comes off like a big boob, but his heart is in the right place.

• Bloopers (2 minutes, 480i SD) -- Asylum rounds out the disc with their near-standard blooper reel. It isn’t particularly funny, mostly trapped in one boring scene, but worth a peak regardless.

• Trailers (SD)

Final Thoughts:

"Sex Pot" is certainly a teen sex-comedy with it’s finger pressed firmly on the exploitation button, which is refreshing for a DTV title these days. But an unfunny script paired with a weak cast and amateurish production values ruin this film’s moderately clever premise and potential hilarity. The DVD is pretty subpar, but the bonus featurette is funny. If only The Asylum would have thought to allow a comedian to helm (and highlight) the feature, this would have been a vastly superior film with cult potential.

DVD Report Card:

Video: B-

Audio: C+

Extras: C-

Packaging: B

Recommendation: For stoners only.

On DVD: August 18, 2009.



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Friday, December 11, 2009

GI Joe The Rise Of Cobra (2009)

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ust got back from a screening of G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra and figured I'd send in a a review. There might be some spoilers, in case you care.
I've been familiar with G.I. Joe since I was a kid. I remember the cartoon, the silly PSAs and, of course, the toys. However, I was never a die hard fan or anything like that. After seeing the trailers, and realizing it looked pretty much nothing like the G.I.Joe I remember, I wasn't expecting much. So, with that said, here's the short version: It wasn't great, but it wasn't the train wreck I expected. Also, it was more enjoyable than Transformers 2.
Ok, here's the longer version. The first thing to know, is the movie is pretty cheesy for most of the running time. Cheesy, but fun. The best comparison I can give you for the tone of this thing is the original Street Fighter (only with a bigger scope, 800 times the budget and %100 less Jean Claude Van Damme). It's cheesy, light hearted fun. The action is cartoony most of the time but borders on badass at others (this mostly refers to anytime Snake Eyes is on screen). The effects were all over the place as well. Some stuff looked pretty good (the accelerator suit chase) other times it was typical Stephen Sommers cartoon cgi. We were told the effects near the end of the film weren't complete. I really hope that's true because some of the stuff during the underwater attack at the end looked like someone took a crap, colored it blue and threw it on screen.


Like I said above, it was more enjoyable than Transformers 2. One of the biggest reasons is the pacing. It was damn good. It didn't come to halt mid way through the movie or blow it's action-scene load too early. Each of the major set pieces was always bigger than the one before it, ratcheting things up nicely. It breaks up the action with flash backs to either Duke/Baroness or Snake Eyes/Storm Shadow. Most of these drag a bit, but are usually kept short and things get moving again quickly. Speaking of action, I could actually tell what was happing for the most part. The underwater battle at the end gets a bit confusing at times, but generally, Sommers sets up the geography of things well so you know what's happening. Also, the story actually makes sense (in the same manner that any "world domination" plot makes sense). It's not exactly deep, but at least it's coherent. They're definitely setting this up as a franchise given how it all ends. The last 10 minutes or so has a couple set ups for later installments, such as Cobra Commander making Destro his bitch and a (somewhat obvious) twist stolen right out of the first X-Men movie. The other main difference between this and Transformers is that this was devoid of low-brow humor. Sure, there were a couple slap stick moments involving Morlon Wayans (who was less annoying that I thought he'd be), but mostly it was cheesy humor that came from the characters. No "robot humping Megan Fox" here.

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Believe it or not, there's actually some pretty cool stuff tech wise. The guns used by the MARS troopers, the Joe's base which they call "The Pit", just about every vehicle in the film are all fun and imaginitive. I particularly dug the jet pack thing Storm Shadow steels from the Joe's base. The best part of the movie, though, is definitely Snake Eyes. He has no lines and is just a complete badass. My only problem with him, is this: Why the hell does his suit have a mouth? He doesn't talk, and the mouth wouldn't move if he did. So why the hell is it there? It was actually kind of distracting. The rest of characters are nothing to write home about. They're never really boring, but they're never great either. Dennis Quaid seemed to be having a bit of fun as General Hawk though. He gets the infamous "Knowing is half the battle" line. The villains are all pretty much what you'd expect. Baroness is hot, Storm Shadow kicks ass, etc... Speaking to looks, Cobra Commander looks just as stupid as you think he will. He's much more menacing in the movie than I remember him being in the cartoon. His voice is lower and less raspy. I'm fairly certain it's not even Joseph Gordon-Levitt's voice (unless they modified it a lot). When he becomes Cobra Commander he comes off more like Darth Vader (poor comparison, he's no where near that cool) than the whiny coward I remember from the show. Destro is actually the main villain throughout the movie, but doesn't get his silver head untill the very end. It's CGI but actually didn't look too bad, though I'm hoping the effect was unfinished. It could use a little more work.
Obviously the movie is flawed. It has it's share of "wtf?" moments, like when Duke, Baronnes and Storm Shadow get out of a plane, on a polar ice cap, wearing Jeans and light jackets. Apparently it's not quite as cold up there as I thought. Must be global warming. Or like when 4 nanomite warheads apparently need to weaponized, a process that involves zapping them with lasers for about 30 seconds. Maybe i'm just not that knowledgable, but I though warheads were the weapon? No weaponizing necessary. Who knows.The movie is filled will stuff like this. But, silly science aside, the real weak link in the movie is easily Channing Tatum. He just doesn't seem like a military badass. They way he delivers lines, he sounds more like a whiny teen sometimes. Yes, i'm aware of how retarded it is to criticize the acting in a G.I. Joe movie, but he's the center piece of the movie and he just can't carry it. Part of the problem is his relationship with Baroness in the movie. Apparently 4 years ago they were engaged. Then Duke and her brother Rex (who later turns out to be Cobra Commander) go off to war and Rex "dies" and Duke and Baroness just stop talking, or something. I really don't know. She is later infected with nanomites by her believed to be dead brother which means he can control her like a robot. But eventually over the course of the movie, they make up and she miraculously overpowers the nanomite programming (wtf?) and helps Duke and the Joes. As dumb as that sounds, it's made worse by the fact that Tatum and Sienna Miller simply have no chemistry whatsoever.
So, like I said, it's a fun but flawed movie. It's pretty much what you would expect a summer action movie to be. The biggest question, I guess, is this: "Is it a G.I. Joe movie?" Honestly, I'd have to say "No." It's not quite the G.I. Joe I remember, but it is a big, cheesy, fun and silly action movie that kept me entertained for about 2 hours."
Here's the second review...
"Hey Harry, just got back from a pre-screening of GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra and definitely have mixed feelings regarding the movie.


Like most people my age, I am 33, I grew up with GI Joe in one form or another. I was an only child so I was fortunate enough to have a slew of GI Joe toys, along with a number of the comics. The cartoon was something I enjoyed but I always considered the comic the more canonical of the bunch. Larry Hama's background in the military somewhat grounded the comic in reality, and I say grounded loosely, so I always viewed the cartoon with a grain of salt.
That being said, I don't have the view that Stephen Sommers has "raped my childhood"� but I can say that the children in the screening were having a blast, and without a doubt were pushing their parents to buy whatever action figure for the character they most identified with. I realize that the marketing behind the movies now are all about merchandising (thank you Space Balls) and GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra should do well. The movie reflected the high tech gadgetry of the cartoon but was surprisingly violent as there are many on screen deaths.
But enough of the history lesson, how is the movie you may ask? Well, it seems as though the screenwriters took bits and pieces from the file cards of the old action figures and copied and pasted them in the screenplay. Have you ever heard of Zartan? Did you know he is a master of disguises? Did you know GI Joe is a real American hero? Well you will know and as they say in the movie, knowing is half the battle.
Screenplay aside, this is a movie built around the action scenes and this movie delivers that. However, halfway through the action scene in Paris I was expecting the soundtrack to start blaring, "America, [frick] Yeah!" Team America style as the wanton destruction displayed elicited several chuckles from the audience. The end battle reflected the final battles found in Star Wars A New Hope and Return of the Jedi so much I half expected Lando Calrissien to blow up the reactor core to Destro's hideout.
Regarding the characters, the actor who portrayed Duke was wooden beyond all belief, Snake Eye’s mask had indentions from his lips, the Baroness had no accent, Destro's was so thick you could barely understand him, and everyone else seemed interchangeable. Dennis Quaid phoned it in as General Hawk while Branden Fraser makes a-- blink and you'll miss him --cameo.
The movie didn't make a lasting impression on me and while they set up a sequel, I have a hard time mustering any enthusiasm for it. However, I have a feeling that the movie is loud, violent, and pop-corny enough (is that even a word?) for the general populace to enjoy."
Well, there you go. Provided these guys are not plants(although i seriously doubt it) it looks like "Joe" may not suck quite as much after all!

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